Noelle - Day 161 (Thoughts on Self-Checkout)
Hiya!
How is everybody today? Of course, its Monday and nobody's happy about that, but all-in-all, how are ya doing? Glad to hear it.
So I was going to do a well-thought-out, nice, politically correct post and all that, but then I thought...nah. Why not rant at some inanimate objects?
Ahem.
Don't you just hate those self-checkout devices? They are a regular nightmare. I mean, c'mon, you walk up to them, and the first thing they say to you in that annoying computerized voice is, "Self-checkout is easy to use." And you're just like, "Nooooooooooo its nooooottt!!!"
Then you do your best to check out in an orderly fashion. Scan, check, bag. Scan, check, bag. Scan, check - (gasp) no. The horror of all horrors! The little blinking lights come on...the computerized voice says for everybody in a five-mile radius to hear, "Please wait. Help is on the way." And then you stand there, looking like a helpless idiot for ten minutes! What are you supposed to do? What did I do wrong? What do you want, you civilization conquering mind boggling little -
"Hey, did you, um, want help?"*
No. I just like standing here, this is my favorite floor tile in the whole dang store. What do ya think?!
So the self-checkout people just stare at the screen for half a minute, press a button, and then poof! Suddenly, everything ok again! You can continue bagging again...but how? How?! Teach me this strange magic, so that I won't have to wait again. What button did you press anyway?
And you continue checking out, hoping that it doesn't happen again...and then randomly, this evil little computer decides that you're shoplifting and says, "Please place all scanned items in the bag." And you just sit there like "I did!!!!!!"
Yes, this is the most horrible horror story I've ever written.
Eventually, the computer figures out you're not a shady citizen and want to legitimately pay for your food, and so manage to get out of the check out alive. And of course, the computer just sits there, saying repeatedly and embarrassingly loud, "Please remember to take your receipt. Please remember to take your receipt. Please remember...."
So here's my question, or the moral of the story, or whatever: How did we manage to make a computer so dumb? How?
*Blog post not intended to offend store employees. This is just the sort of self-checkout experiences I have.
Ok, I'm done ranting.
Sorry.
I will see you tomorrow for a hopefully better blog post and a better day, specifically one that is NOT Monday. Bye! Don't forget to comment with your opinions!
How is everybody today? Of course, its Monday and nobody's happy about that, but all-in-all, how are ya doing? Glad to hear it.
So I was going to do a well-thought-out, nice, politically correct post and all that, but then I thought...nah. Why not rant at some inanimate objects?
Ahem.
Don't you just hate those self-checkout devices? They are a regular nightmare. I mean, c'mon, you walk up to them, and the first thing they say to you in that annoying computerized voice is, "Self-checkout is easy to use." And you're just like, "Nooooooooooo its nooooottt!!!"
Then you do your best to check out in an orderly fashion. Scan, check, bag. Scan, check, bag. Scan, check - (gasp) no. The horror of all horrors! The little blinking lights come on...the computerized voice says for everybody in a five-mile radius to hear, "Please wait. Help is on the way." And then you stand there, looking like a helpless idiot for ten minutes! What are you supposed to do? What did I do wrong? What do you want, you civilization conquering mind boggling little -
"Hey, did you, um, want help?"*
No. I just like standing here, this is my favorite floor tile in the whole dang store. What do ya think?!
So the self-checkout people just stare at the screen for half a minute, press a button, and then poof! Suddenly, everything ok again! You can continue bagging again...but how? How?! Teach me this strange magic, so that I won't have to wait again. What button did you press anyway?
And you continue checking out, hoping that it doesn't happen again...and then randomly, this evil little computer decides that you're shoplifting and says, "Please place all scanned items in the bag." And you just sit there like "I did!!!!!!"
Yes, this is the most horrible horror story I've ever written.
Eventually, the computer figures out you're not a shady citizen and want to legitimately pay for your food, and so manage to get out of the check out alive. And of course, the computer just sits there, saying repeatedly and embarrassingly loud, "Please remember to take your receipt. Please remember to take your receipt. Please remember...."
So here's my question, or the moral of the story, or whatever: How did we manage to make a computer so dumb? How?
*Blog post not intended to offend store employees. This is just the sort of self-checkout experiences I have.
Ok, I'm done ranting.
Sorry.
I will see you tomorrow for a hopefully better blog post and a better day, specifically one that is NOT Monday. Bye! Don't forget to comment with your opinions!
I don't know how.. but my dad has somehow BEFRIENDED THE SELF-CHECKOUT LADY!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd she absolutely HATES my mom...
please remember to take your receipt... and THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE COMMISSARY!!
Jillian, no matter what store I check out on I always say THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE COMMISARY! Then everyone looks at me weird as I walk away.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo here is my self-check out story. We just scanned some pomegranates and then it said in a calm voice at first..." please out your POMEGRANATES in the bag." It just yelled at us so the whole store could hear! We laugh so hard every time we talk about it! :)
ReplyDeletespeaking of annoying machines... Siri in my mom's phone. once i asked her 'what is the average wing speed of a sparrow?' now of course she could have brought up some articles but... this is what she said, 'the last person who asked me that ended up in a crevice.' what in the world Siri!
ReplyDelete