I'm Sorry (Emotional Crud + Funny Comics)
Hey y'all!
It's Noelle, back again with another fascinating post. (Note that sarcasm on 'fascinating'. Didn't hear it? Better get your ears checked because it was loud as heck). Now, I know my posts are usually pretty lighthearted or...uh...bloodthirsty.... ( *sweats nervously* ) but today is going to be a but more personal and emotional that normal. However! The title was not clickbate! There will be funny comics at the end to cheer you up, I promise. So let's get started and get the emotional crud out of the way.
A lot of people don't know about this, because I never talk about it or write about it, but it's something I want to say. I'm... Pretty much a mess.
"Haha aren't we all," I hear you muttering and you're probably right. We all have our own personal struggles and everybody has demons that they must wrestle into submission every day. For me, it's my own self worth and identity as a person, as a daughter of God.
A lot of the details are too personal for me to say, especially out here in the strange expanse of the internet where things go viral overnight and people's lives can be ruined even quicker. Suffice it to say... I mess up, a lot, and I apologize for so much as breathing. I forget to eat until it's a habit and I don't want to eat. I can't sleep, and when I do, my dreams are enough to keep me awake till I actually collapse. And this bit is going to sound silly, but when I miss a post, I struggle to even open my laptop to write the next one (see this does have to do with blogging). I'd rather be swamped in guilt than face a bunch of Internet strangers who, despite what I tell myself, literally don't care if I miss a post or not; when I of it like that, it sounds just as ridiculous as it is.
Life happens. Life happens too fast for me to keep up with it. I get lost in the nostalgia and the belief that I'll be better one day, when really, there's nothing horribly wrong with me. I just don't know how to deal with the little things. For lack of better analogy, I break my arms and complain about the stubbed toe.
It's not just blog posts, of course. I'm not over here crippled in awful self doubt over a blog that my mother and like, four friends read (hi Mom!), don't worry. But blogging is a part of it, part of this big ugly anxiety demon that I keep trying to wrestle into submission... So here's my disclaimer, my official "I'm not a professional don't judge me I do enough of that to myself" post so I can finally get out of this loop of awfulness:
That all being said, if you're feeling lost and lonely, if you don't know who to turn to, if you've hurt yourself and feel awful about just waking up in the morning, just know that you're not alone. Whatever you say, you're not alone. I'm always here to talk if you need me :)
"Ok enough of this touchy-feely-crap, I was promised funny comics!"
It's Noelle, back again with another fascinating post. (Note that sarcasm on 'fascinating'. Didn't hear it? Better get your ears checked because it was loud as heck). Now, I know my posts are usually pretty lighthearted or...uh...bloodthirsty.... ( *sweats nervously* ) but today is going to be a but more personal and emotional that normal. However! The title was not clickbate! There will be funny comics at the end to cheer you up, I promise. So let's get started and get the emotional crud out of the way.
A lot of people don't know about this, because I never talk about it or write about it, but it's something I want to say. I'm... Pretty much a mess.
"Haha aren't we all," I hear you muttering and you're probably right. We all have our own personal struggles and everybody has demons that they must wrestle into submission every day. For me, it's my own self worth and identity as a person, as a daughter of God.
A lot of the details are too personal for me to say, especially out here in the strange expanse of the internet where things go viral overnight and people's lives can be ruined even quicker. Suffice it to say... I mess up, a lot, and I apologize for so much as breathing. I forget to eat until it's a habit and I don't want to eat. I can't sleep, and when I do, my dreams are enough to keep me awake till I actually collapse. And this bit is going to sound silly, but when I miss a post, I struggle to even open my laptop to write the next one (see this does have to do with blogging). I'd rather be swamped in guilt than face a bunch of Internet strangers who, despite what I tell myself, literally don't care if I miss a post or not; when I of it like that, it sounds just as ridiculous as it is.
Life happens. Life happens too fast for me to keep up with it. I get lost in the nostalgia and the belief that I'll be better one day, when really, there's nothing horribly wrong with me. I just don't know how to deal with the little things. For lack of better analogy, I break my arms and complain about the stubbed toe.
It's not just blog posts, of course. I'm not over here crippled in awful self doubt over a blog that my mother and like, four friends read (hi Mom!), don't worry. But blogging is a part of it, part of this big ugly anxiety demon that I keep trying to wrestle into submission... So here's my disclaimer, my official "I'm not a professional don't judge me I do enough of that to myself" post so I can finally get out of this loop of awfulness:
- If I don't post what I promised the previous week, it's because things happen and I screw up a lot. It may appear eventually; it may never be seen of heard of again.
- If I miss a post, I know you don't care. You don't care, I don't care, nobody cares. It'll be okay.
- If I miss a few weeks, I'm probably sick or super duper busy (or both. ugh.)
- If I'm gone for two months or more, I'm most definitely dead, I want cookies at my funeral and motion sensors on my grave that cause Hamilton to play when people walk by.
That all being said, if you're feeling lost and lonely, if you don't know who to turn to, if you've hurt yourself and feel awful about just waking up in the morning, just know that you're not alone. Whatever you say, you're not alone. I'm always here to talk if you need me :)
"Ok enough of this touchy-feely-crap, I was promised funny comics!"
Yes, yes, funny comics, coming right up:
This one is my favourite of all of them ^
Okay, what about for y'all military brats?
And that's all I got for you guys today! I'll be back...sometime. I'm going to try to write more blog posts in the future but I think for now, ignore anything I've said in the past about "and next week I'm going to post this" because they will not happen next week. Thanks for reading, have a great day, and WAIT BEFORE YOU GO! Check out my new story, Reality Shift, on Wattpad @theChalkGirl you'll love it I swear
Okay bye!
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