Noelle - Boobs

Before I begin,
I need to throw in the small side note that this is a Dear Adults post, episode four in fact.  This is not like my normal Dear Adults posts, but it has that same sort of angry sarcasm that you people seem to love.  I didn't put that in the title, however, because the title is...important.  You'll see why in a sec.

Before I really get started, let's discuss: why did you click on this post?  No really, why?  Maybe you haven't clicked on it, in which case, you should...because reasons.  But really...why did this post, out of the thousands on the internet and the several weekly posts on this particular blog, catch your eye and make you go, "huh, good reading material."  Chances are, even if you are reading this, you're a little uncomfortable.

"Noelle, you usually keep it PG and blah blah don't be crude," you say.

"Shut up and keep reading," I snap, because I'm writing a Dear Adults post here and ain't no one got time for that.

We'll come back to this subject and why you're uncomfortable in a moment.  For now, story time:

The other day, I was attending a class at my Catholic online academy, and we were discussing dyslexia.  For those of you who don't know what dyslexia is, it's a condition where letters and numbers that you read get mixed up in your head.  If yuo cna raed htis yuo prbobayl dn't hvae dyslorxia.  Also, side note, if you spell like that constantly...God help you.

Anyway, the other day, I was in class and blah blah backstory, and I decided to say, "Haha, you know, 'Two dyslexics walk into a bra'."

Hilarious, I know.



But then... after a few awkward laughs from my classmates, I was smartly informed by a girl that I needed to "keep the chat clean."

Now I could rant a whole blog post about how she ain't teacher and I didn't ask you, gurl, but I won't, because that's rude.  And...that's not the subject today.  Let's just leave it at this:  There are three options as to why I was informed of my humour's apparent dirtiness:

#1:  I'm a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich - wait.  I mean, this critique of my fine and eloquent humour was because the criticizer saw the word 'bra' and decided it was dirty, without reading my whole text.  ???


#2:  She read the whole joke, saw it had nothing to do with bewbs or the clothing related to it, and decided to call me out on it.  ????

#3: She has....something against bars?  Which, I mean, is possible I suppose.  In a school where people try to convince you of Harry Potter's obvious and deathly evil witchcraft in one breath and then tell you that Trump is our Lord and Savior in the next, its not a stretch to think that bars/alcohol are evil BUT!  We're going to ignore this point, cuz it has nothing to do with today's post.

Today's question is why are boobs - something we as women have zero control over - a taboo topic?  Or bra?  Or heck, periods?

Don't get me wrong, I do understand that we live in a world that over-sexualizes* the life out of women and even little girls, and that if it has to do with any of that, then love it it or hate it, 90% of the time it's going to have to do with sex.  And before reading on, please understand this isn't an attack on modesty, nor do I in anyway support the sexualization* or objectification of women.  I hate feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, and I hate seeing women reduced to objects used to sell things and make money and as decoration for men.  So please understand, that's not what this is about.

(*sorry if that's misspelled.  Ironically, I was to awkward to ask my parents if it was spelled right)

So this is the real question:  why am I ashamed of myself?   Why was I taught to be ashamed of myself?  Why??

I'm a teenage girl, and I clearly have boobs, but God forbid my bra strap shows.  I say I don't care but you can bet if you mention a showing bra strap to me, my bra straps will be tightened enough to cut into my skin next time you see me.  I have code words with my friends so nobody in the vicinity has to feel uncomfortable by me saying, "Oi I'm pretty much bleeding out the lining of an internal organ and have zero control over it, do you have any of those rather expensive items that temporarily block the literal blood until the Niagara falls of crimson ends for this month?"  Wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable, you know.

You could argue, I suppose, that bras are sex objects, which is why they're so taboo.  To which I say:  no.  Lingerie are sex objects.  Their purpose is to be beautiful, and to make their wearer beautiful.  Bras just hold your boobs in place, so they don't show (or smack you in the face when you run.)  Bras are no more sex objects than gloves. You can wear gloves to be beautiful, you can wear gloves to protect your knuckles, you can wear gloves to keep warm.  Would you suggest gloves are sex objects?  No, of course not!  If you talked about gloves like society talked about bras, people would look at you like you're insane.

Again, I feel I have to stress:  I'm not attacking modesty.  I, myself, am actually pretty modest - I don't do bikinis.  I don't like leaving the house in tank tops and without my endless supply of sweatshirts.  Skin showing is kryptonite for me.

But this isn't a question about modesty - this is a question of what is so shameful about boobs, about periods, about being a woman.  We don't have control over this; over half of the population have this.  How many feel comfortable about talking about it?

Conclusion: do not shame and over-sexualize me or my sisters.  We didn't chose to put up with this crap, we shouldn't have to go all incognito mode to talk about it!

Alright, I'm done, for now.  Stay tuned for the next episode!  Go ahead and tell me your thoughts on this subject in the comments...try not to prove my point further, please.